


Helluva Oneshot Book

by Gracecantdrive



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Action, Alternate Canon, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracecantdrive/pseuds/Gracecantdrive
Summary: Would you like to co-lead I.M.P. with Blitzø?Or perhaps your dream is to go on a date with M&M (Moxxie & Millie)?Maybe you're one of the rarer few who'd like to put on a show with Robofizz?Whatever your preference, I'll try my best to fulfill it in this nifty little book! Even if the site controls are still confusing me. . .
Relationships: Blitzo (Helluva Boss)/Reader, Loona (Helluva Boss)/Reader, Millie (Helluva Boss)/Reader, Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss), Millie/Reader/Moxxie (Helluva Boss), Moxxie (Helluva Boss)/Reader, Octavia Goetia/Reader, Robo Fizz (Helluva Boss)/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All original properties of Helluva Boss (including canon events, characters and dialogue) are credited to Vivienne Morano- aka 'Vivziepop'.

If you have any requests, put them on this page!

**Characters I Write For**

_Check the relationship tags to see which characters I will write reader inserts for! Please do not request character/character or character/oc fics. You may request the reader to be a certain species or to have certain traits (i.e. dragon!reader or blind!reader).  
_

**Content I Will Write  
**

_Romantic ships, Platonic ships (i.e. Octavia & Sister!Reader), Fluff, Angst, Smut, Alternate Universe themes, Potentially triggering themes (a warning will be given at the beginning of such one shots).  
_

**Please Don't. . .  
**

_Request more than two one shots/preferences at a time._

_Request p*dophilic ships._

_Request triggering content that leads to smut. I see that as trauma romanticism and I will not write it._


	2. Blitzø/Fem!Imp!Reader (No Means No!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This wonderful request was made by MadameMirage77! 
> 
> ⚠ Content Warnings ⚠  
> • Profanity/Suggestive Wording  
> • Possessive Ex-Boyfriend
> 
> If there's anything else in this chapter that triggers you, sorry in advance! Put the trigger in the comments and I'll add it to the content warning <3

Getting a job in Hell was way more difficult than it should have been. You'd think with all the employees dying (or quitting) left and right there'd be a ton of positions open. But all the places you applied to either had a buttload of requirements that you didn't match or they simply didn't want to hire an imp.

So you kept looking.

And looking.

And looking...

And then you struck gold with a little company called I.M.P., managed by a plucky imp named Blitzø. He was reluctant to hire you due to you having no murder experience whatsoever, but the moment you demonstrated your insane stealth and flexibility he didn't hesitate to pull out a contract.

That was two years ago. Two years was long enough for you to become a crucial part of the team- or _family_ as Blitzø preferred to call it. You were their one and only Background Specialist. Your job was to prevent incidents like the one that had occurred with Martha's family by doing research on targets and reporting the information back to Blitzø. Which was technically part of Loona's job, but it was clear that she didn't want to do it (a good thing too, or else you'd still be looking for a place to work).

* * *

_“Another day, another satisfied customer!"_

You smiled and packed your bag as Blitzø began to brag about the days' kill. Although you loved your job, the best part was going home where you could relax. No stalking humans to make sure they wouldn't kill your friends in self-defense. Just you and the sweet chaos of Channel 666 News.

_“Nice job, [YN].”_

_“Ditto. Without you we'd probably be skinned alive by now. And by 'we' I mean Moxxie.”_

You chuckled as Moxxie glared at Blitzø and zipped up your backpack.

_“Well I couldn't just let that happen. If Moxxie got skinned alive, who would we bully?”_

_“Exactly!"_

Moxxie rolled his eyes as Blitzø wrapped an arm around your shoulders. ‘I'm kidding’, you mouthed. Moxxie's expression softened and he went off to find his wife as Blitzø sighed happily.

_“You know [YN], out of this entire group I feel like you 'get me' the most. I should give you a raise for being my favorite employee.”_

You waited expectantly as Blitzø stared off into the distance. He shrugged and strutted away with his chest puffed out.

_“It's too bad this company is always borderlining broke. See you tomorrow!”_

_“See you tomorrow, boss.”_

You left the building, cheeks getting warm at the thought of being Blitzø's favorite employee. Typical, for you to have a crush on your boss. You knew it'd never go anywhere thanks to a clingy prince named Stolas... but it was still nice to fantasize every now and then. You exhaled and turned the corner, yelping when someone pinned you to the side of the building. The stranger grabbed your wrists before you could retrieve the knife strapped to the side of your leg and slammed them over your head.

Wincing, you looked up to see a smug face that you thought you'd never encounter again.

_“Mike.”_

_"Hey baby. Bad time?”_

_“Save your breath and get the fuck off of me.”_

Mike laughed and leaned close to your face. His yellow eyes seemed to glow, and he flicked his forked tongue out. You cringed and pressed your head into against wall.

_“You don't sound very happy to see me.”_

_“Why would I be? In case you forgot, you ch-”_

_“Ah, ah. Let's not start that argument again. I just want to talk to you.”_

And so, pinned to the wall, you had no choice to listen to Mike. Despite having cheated on you in the past and taking all your money before leaving, he 'realized how good you were' for him and wanted to take you back. He sounded oddly sincere, so of course you said...

_“Hell no!”_

_“No?”_

Mike scoffed, squeezing your wrists tighter. It hurt, but you didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing you writhe in pain.

_“What do you mean no?”_

_“I'd rather get exterminated before dating you again. You're a dishonest, condescending jackass with a dick smaller than a needle. So thanks, but no thanks.”_

Mike smiled, flashing his sharp teeth at you. 

_“Low blow, baby. I'm hurt... but I'm also not leaving until you say what I want to hear and come home with me.”_

**_“Why don't you back off?”_ **

The sound of a gun being cocked made you and Mike turn your heads. Blitzø was standing three feet away with his weapon pointed at Mike's head and an enraged glare on his face. You could see Moxxie, Millie and Loona peeking around the corner with worry, and you slightly relaxed. Mike scowled at Blitzø.

_“Who the fuck are you?”_

_“I'm the imp that's gonna blow both of your heads off if you don't get your scaly hands off of my employee.”_

You resisted the urge to chuckle as Blitzø pointed his gun at Mike's crotch and then back at his skull. Mike narrowed his eyes and then laughed maliciously.

_“What are you, some sort of Guardian Angel? This situation has nothing to do with you. [YN]'s my girlfriend, so why don't you back off and let the couple handle this-”_

Your wrists were finally freed when Blitzø shot Mike in the side. The snake demon hissed and fell to his knees, clutching his side in pain. You took the chance to run behind Blitzø and to the others who quickly checked if you were okay. You assured them you were fine, but allowed Millie to inspect your wrists as Blitzø continued to face Mike. The two were staring each other down, Mike breathing raggedly as Blitzø cocked his gun again.

_“I missed the head in your pants, but the one on your shoulders is an easier target. Still wanna keep up the tough guy act?”_

Mike glanced at you, and then hissed before shaking standing up and running away. Blitzø didn't relax until the snake was out of sight, blowing the nozzle of his gun. 

_“Man, what a jackass. You're really dating that guy?”_

You groaned as Blitzø turned to give you a judgemental look.

_“I used to. Fell for the 'charming stranger at the grocery store' shtick.”_

_“I don't know what you expected from a snake demon, they're literally the worst.”_

_“Sir, do you really think it was wise to let him go like that? What if he comes back for [YN], or tries to follow her home?”_

Blitzø waved off Moxxie's concern, spinning his gun before putting it back in his pocket.

_“Oh please Moxxie, I know how to use a gun. That asshole won't make it halfway to a bus stop with where I shot him.”_

Blitzø suddenly donned a more serious expression, putting a hand on your shoulder. You tensed up, a red blush dusting your face.

_“Switching back to serious for a second- are you okay? I mean, you didn't seem too distressed back there, but if you don't feel safe going home alone you can spend the night with me and Loona. I- we wouldn't mind.”_

You smiled softly and pat Blitzø's hand. 

_“Thanks, boss, but I'll be fine. If he somehow manages to crawl to my house, I'll be ready.”_

You two held eye contact for a few seconds. And then a minute. Off to the side, Moxxie and Millie looked at each other before turning and beginning the trip to their own home. Loona sighed.

_“She said she'll be fine. Can we go home now?”_

You and Blitzø quickly backed away, stuttering incomprehensible sentences before saying goodbye and going your separate ways. You covered your face, trying to calm your nerves. What was _that_ all about? You understood why Blitzø would come to your rescue, but then the offer of you spending the night? And the little staring contest?

Did your boss... have a crush on you?

No. That was ridiculous. He was just looking out for you, that's all. You removed your hands from your face and gripped the straps of your backpack, keeping an eye out for trouble as you walked home. Despite your attempts to stay alert, your mind kept drifting to how Blitzø's hand felt under yours.

Little did you know, he was thinking of the same thing.


	3. Blitzø/GN!Reader (The Moody Drunk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide to take a trip to Wendy's after your boss/best friend posts a worrying picture to Voxtagram.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was requested by /cafemeow/ !
> 
> C.M. wanted the interaction between Reader and Blitzø to be a drunk call, but I had much more inspiration for a physical interaction. And as I write this I really Blitzø isn't really drunk either- so shame me for going 66.6% off script 😵
> 
> ⚠ Content Warnings ⚠  
> • Profanity

**blitzorodeo** i drew thsi at wenbies, the only resturant that gets their meat frozen loool. my date said i took 2 long to get to the good shit so he left after tkaing my picture... gonna go back home

* * *

You were _not_ happy.

But you weren't mad either.

Okay, you were a little mad. Who in their right mind would leave one of the most charming imps alone at Wenbie's? Then again, Blitzø didn't have a track record of picking good partners- when he had first mentioned the date at work you knew it wouldn't turn out well. You went to Voxtagram's direct messaging feature and texted Blitzø.

_Blitz_ ø

_Blitzø_

_Stop leaving me on seen_

**_waht do u wnt_ **

_Which Wenbies are you at?_

**_The 1 where i got diched at_ **

_..._

_**u knowww the 1** _

_**the 1 by uhh** _

_**that pla ce with teh dick drawn on teh windo** _

_Don't go anywhere._

_I'll be there in five minutes._

**_nuuuuu_ **

You shook your head at Blitzø's horrible texting and quickly got dressed (if some slippers and a tracksuit passed as 'dressing') before heading out the door.

~~~

As you stepped through the doors of the restaurant, you remembered why you applied for a job at I.M.P. in the first place. Covering your nose and trying not to breathe in the smell of poorly cooked meat and other questionable scents, you looked around for Blitzø. He wasn't hard to locate- there was a wide space between him and the other patrons, and he was sob-singing into his hands. You winced and walked over to his table.

_“Room for one more?”_

Blitzø peeked at you from behind his fingers, which were stained with runny eyeliner. He frowned.

_“Why, so you can pretend to be interested in me and then leave ten minutes later?”_

You sighed softly and sat next to Blitzø. He tensed up when you put a hand on his shoulder.

_“Wanna talk about how you feel?”_

_“No.”_

That shut you up. You began to remove your hand from Blitzø's shoulder, but he grabbed it right before you could sit it in your lap. Your heart fluttered as he held your hand, wiping his face with the other. He sniffed and stared down at his angry horse drawing.

_“[YN], do you only like me for my body?”_

You felt your heart stop, panic rising.

_“Who said I liked you?”_

_“Loona, but don't dodge the question. You don't just want to sleep with me.. do you?"_

Curse that hellhound. You squeezed Blitzø's hand, shyly raising it your mouth and kissing gloved knuckles. Forward and sappy? Yes. But absolutely necessary, considering Blitzø's mental state.

_“Of course not. You're an amazing imp, who constantly does amazing things. Your body's a bonus, but it's not the reason I fell for you.”_

“... _was it my horse drawing skills?”_

You lightly chuckled and stood up, pulling Blitzø up with you. 

_“How about I get back to you with an answer tomorrow? Right now we should get you home.”_

_“Will you carry me?”_

You opened your mouth to protest, but then Blitzø held up the horse picture with a pout. You groaned and opened your arms, which he gladly jumped into. He was lighter than you expected- so you had no trouble adjusting your hold on him. You had hardly left the restaurant when peaceful snores escaped him. You smiled and kissed his temple.

_“Sweet dreams, Blitzø.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's not a super big achievement, but I want to thank everybody who has requested so far (as well as those who will request in the future)! It seriously lifted my spirits to come back to this book to see two more requests.
> 
> Stay awesome you guys- next one shot coming soon!
> 
> ❤


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